whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Text me some of your sweat
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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