You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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