I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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