operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
