I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
