he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
