He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
