M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
