is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
