Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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