I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
