when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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