He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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