That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
