woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
