i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
