if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
