I don't think we should have started that trash fire
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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