Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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