I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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