He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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