Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
wanna go halves on a baby?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
