hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Randomize
