Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
