I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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