So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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