real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I feel great
I just peed on a car
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
