AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize