I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
