His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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