she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
