i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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