Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
