I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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