I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Dicks are not precious.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
