ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
