Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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