Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
