just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
