I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
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