I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
