I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
