She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
