your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
