can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize