Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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