I must be too annoying 4 u.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
