somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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