Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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