Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize