Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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