NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
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