Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
