I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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