I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
