In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
