I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Randomize
