The brown eye won't let me do that either.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
