Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
