I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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