im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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